It's (a manic) Friday!

Ola all,

It’s a manic Friday – very apt, because it’s been a very manic week: lots has happened over the past 7 days but a lot more is yet to happen before the day is over...

The nanny search is a difficult task – gut wrenching and heart breaking. When looking for an employee you look for skills and qualities that can fulfil a certain requirement. When looking for someone to look after your entire world – the kung-fu-kids in this instance – the task is heaped with emotion, fear, trust… and lots of chicken Viennas.

And in South Africa the task becomes even harder: there are literally millions of people desperate for any job. You may think this is a global situation – yes, it is – but there are very few economies that need to sustain an unemployment rate of (well over) 25%.

And when it stares you in the face… when I look at the desperation in the eyes of the people whom I interview, I cannot help but shed tears for them, and their children, and my country.

Fortunately though, this little growing democracy of the people for the people in my neck of the woods has cadres of peoples (or poepols, whatever suits best) that are hard at work making promises and exploiting their own. These same peoples (of the peoples) recently got together for their much advertised and debated conference somewhere near a fountain of flowers. They arrived there by truly South African public transport… commonly known here as the Gravy Train. Recorded in the car park at the conference was:

106 BMW X5's

211 BMW series 5 & 7

28 RANGE ROVER SPORTS

11 MASERATI's

103 MERCEDES BENZ

6 HUMMERS

9 FERRARI's.

etc

That was outside. Inside, our public servants, one and all, were hard at work:

Thanks guys – we appreciate the sacrifice!

Madiba, my dear Madiba, how different a place this land would be had you been given to us 20 years earlier.

However, this is not tickling anybody’s short ribs so I shoot the violinist (in a literary sense, of course) and present this week’s contributions. Thanks to babydoll, Insta’Gran, the Abmeister (1st timer), Staminos, and friend moonstone.

I really DO appreciate your efforts in supplying this content.

This week it’s about golf – Granddad is here and I’ve managed my annual quota in the first three weeks of the year, but I’m not complaining – buying milk, and Little Larry. We’re visited by an apparition and my Pick of the Week is an oldie, but an absolute classic.

Have a great weekend!

Perfect logic…

A wife asks her husband: “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6?"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados.”

(judogirl will NEVER get this one...)

and more perfect logic

Tim decided to marry his long time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf shoes. His new wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally spoke:

"Tim darling, now that we are married I think it's time you gave up golf. Perhaps you should consider selling your clubs."

Tim looked horrified.

"What's wrong, darling?" she asked seeing his reaction. 

"Phew, for a minute there you sounded just like my ex-wife." Tim replied.

"Ex wife !" she gasped, "you didn't tell me you'd been married before!"

"I haven't!" he replied

Faceless Golf

Scottish surgery

An Arab Sheik was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to obtain blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.

Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & a large sum of US dollars.

A couple of weeks later the Arab had to go through an emergency corrective surgery.

His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.

The Scotsman was shocked. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "What’s become of the generosity, my fine Arab friend?”

The Arab replied: "Och laddie, just remember I have all this Scottish blood in ma veins."

Little Larry (incognito)

Pick of the Week

The Ambidextrous golfer

A group of guys lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One of them transferred to another city and the weekly game was just never the same. One Saturday morning a new woman who joined their club overheard the guys talking about their golf round.

She said, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?"

The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early - at 6:30 a.m.

He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this would be fine, but that she may be fifteen minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said, "Good, I'll be there."

She showed up at 6:30 sharp, and beat all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was fun and a pleasant person, and the guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, "I'll be there at 6:30. But I could be 15 minutes late…"

The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three guys were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They were totally amazed.

They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up.

Back in the clubhouse, all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a couple of beers, and finally, one of the men asked her point blank, "You’re so good at this game, but how do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushed, and grinned. "That's easy," she said. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married, I started a little habit: my husband always sleeps in the nude, so right before I leave in the morning for golf I pull the covers off him. If his “Jetson” lies to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed."

Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointing straight up?"

"Then I'm fifteen minutes late," she said.