February 15, 2013

It's (a Pontifical) Friday!

Ola all,

I should rather say Ciao a tutti, quello che una settimana folle che stiamo avendo, because it’s really been a Pontifical post-Valentino bombshell of a week!!

Firstly, I’m not a big fan of the rogue little angel flying around, in his nappy, with a loaded bow and arrow taking pot shots at innocent souls better left to their own, lonely devices…. I’m not even a little fan. However, my personal view of this specific economy inducing Hallmark day is exactly that – mine – and you probably enjoyed it thoroughly.

And only you will know what you got up to this St Valentines eve newly past, but if you are Roman you were probably sobbing your eyes out. And who could blame you?
Gli Azzuri got their light blue arses handed to them – by the Scots. That’s gotta hurt – ask King Edward II.
His Holiness Pope Benedict (fondly known as “Eggs” by his closest buddies but no relation to Humpty Dumpty) resigned – the first Pontiff to do so since 1415. And I’m pretty darn sure that some poor Roman blighter got hit by one of those stray arrows previously mentioned. In fact, things have gone so badly for the Romans this week that I would risk a wager backing Bafana-Bafana to beat Italy in a soccer match should we manage to arrange the fixture before the week is out!

Bafana what?!

Bafana-Bafana. Arguably (or maybe not) one of the world’s worst soccer teams – and our nation’s pride!

Going into the recent Africa Cup of Nations tournament, I must admit I supported the boys like someone searching for landmines by tapping the ground with a tentative toe: eyes shut, hands sweaty, cheeks puffing half-heartedly through my Vuvuzela, other cheeks clenched tight…

But by Dingaan, they showed guts and grit, and even a level of skill, which I haven’t seen from them for yonks! You made us proud guys – way beyond expectations. Well done Gordon and the boys!!

And today is the start of the Super Rugby Season!

The gurus of SANZAR (and their media conglomerate buddies) decided that Super14 was for poofs and added the Southern Kings, amongst others, to the mix. The Super15 therefore runs till just before Christmas…

Southern who’s?

Kings – Southern Kings. SARU’s direct intervention in uplifting previously disadvantaged rugby players from the Eastern Cape into the international arena. I agree wholeheartedly with the idea, a necessary and groundbreaking initiative, but I’m afraid they may be on their way to a couple of hidings in the following months. What DID strike me while watching their match against the MTN Lions (whom they replace in the Super Series and who put more than 40 points past them in the match…) was the lack of local players… for whom this project was established. It seems odd. And when you hear that the whole process is managed, driven, nay near monopolised, by none other than SARU friend and Eastern Cape confidant Cheeky Watson – father of our own Puke “he’s-just-not-good-enough” Watson – the lack of local players raises a bit of a question mark over the whole things – for me. But again, that’s just me.

Enough about rugby – we’re gonna get waaay to much of it over the coming months anyway.

Let’s talk about Pope Benedict. Only the 9th Pontiff EVER to resign… Can you imagine the atmosphere when he told his boss? (and here we were all wondering why the weather was so topsy-turvy…)
There is much speculation about the reasons behind the Pontiff’s decision – medically or otherwise. However, I have it on good authority that, indeed, he was struggling a lot with wind.


Things are going swimmingly. Which is good for Olympic swimmers – not so good for people whose middle name is “swims-like-stone” a.k.a. Bladerunner... a.k.a. Oscar Pistorius...

I just through that in there... use it, don't use it...
Today we look at grandparents babysitting, faceless wives, a couple of shorts, Tony & Yvonne are installing a PC, and my Pick of the Week.

Thanks to Angel Lady, Staminos, babydoll, and the entire Scottish Rugby Team!

Hope you all have a grand weekend!

Kids and their grandparents
A couple of gems I picked up while the oldies were here looking after the kung-fu-kids…:

Weeman: “Oupa, how old are you?”
Grandad: “72”
Weeman: (stunned) “Did you start at 1?”

Grandma is not too sure how well Peanut knows her colours, so she decided to test her. Grandma would point out something and ask what colour it was. Peanut would answer and was always correct. It seemed like fun to Ouma so she continued. Eventually Peanut headed for the door, saying, "Ouma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colours by yourself!"

The summer evenings were beautiful, so we kept windows and doors open most every night while trying to keep the lights off as much as possible so not to attract too many pesky bugs. One night a firefly ventured into the house. Noticing it the wee man whispered, "It's no use Oupa, the mosquitoes have flashlights."

Weeman: “Oupa, how old are you?”
Grandpa: “I’m not sure.”
Weeman: “Check your underpants Oupa.”
Grandpa: “What? Why?”
Weeman: “So you know how old you are – mine says 4 to 5.”

Grandparents picked up the kids from school and met their teachers.
Teacher (to Weeman): “Where do your grandparents live?”
Weeman: “Oh, they live at the airport, and when we want them, we just go get them. And when they’re done with their visit we take them back."

Faceless wives…


I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R.

I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'

This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says, 'Audi!'

My mechanic told me, 'I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.’

I was reading this book today, 'The History of Glue.' I couldn't put it down.

Tony & Yvonne


Tony and Yvonne eventually set up that PC their kids got them for Christmas. Yvonne reads the instruction manual while Tony connects everything as best he can. It is a frustrating business and tempers are frayed. Once completed, they sit together in front of the screen, following the prompts to complete the set up.
When asked to enter a password Yvonne tells Tony to select a password that he'll always remember.
Tony looks at Yvonne and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye, selects a word: penis
Tony chuckles.
Yvonne’s face is unchanged.
Tony hits "enter" to validate the selection.
Tony chuckles
Yvonne looks at the screen and says, “Look, the thing knows you.”
Tony leans forward, his face almost against the screen to read the computer’s reply…

Pick of the Week
History has a tendency to repeat itself – we know this to be true (although I must admit I was MOST surprised when ‘80’s fashion managed that!!). And we will do well to learn from what history tries to teach us:

Year 1981 A.D.
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

Year 2005 A.D.
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.

What history teaches us:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope!

And why he really resigned…
(It’s either this, or the rumours coming from Buckingham Palace are true…)


1 comment:

  1. Like the bits of the Pope....sorry, that just sounded SO wrong....liked the jokes about the Pope! Apparently many of the Bishops around the globe are fighting to positions themselves as replacement for the Pope....they can't wait to wear the white dress with the matching "smoking handbag" and red shoes!