October 05, 2012

It's Friday! (finally...)

Ola all,

The past week (or two) has been fraught (vrot in Afrikaans) with sport. The Springboks were eventually given a chance to play and ran rings around the Aussies, leaving a couple of battered and bruised kangaroos limping from the field wanting for their mammas. It was beautiful!

Tomorrow it’s the mighty All Blacks in Soweto – an “away game” for both teams, but with the atmosphere usually associated with this venue I think it’s gonna be a scorcher!! Go Bokke!!

The same could not be said for the Proteas in the ICC’s World T20 Cricket Championships in Sri Lanka. The poor okes couldn’t bat – not on the pitch or afterwards when the criticism was bowled their way after the unexpected exit from the competition. Saying however that the South Africans succumbed to the dreaded “choke” yet again is a tad harsh in my opinion. Surely you need to reach the knock-out phase of the competition first BEFORE you can succumb to “The Choke”.

Jokes aside – this is sport and these things happen. Whatever the reason: mental block, poor tactics, team selection, or scrambled eggs, we beat the Poms over and over just a few short weeks ago, so that remains in my mind. And that was beautiful!

Then, of course, there was the Ryder Cup… possibly my favourite sporting event. For the very few of you who (for some inexplicable reason) don’t know this, the Ryder Cup is a 3-day golf championship consisting of various team and individual format golf matches played every two years between Teams Europe and USA.

For the first two days Europe struggled and couldn’t buy a put for all money, while a brilliant USA took a commanding lead. Late on Saturday, Ian Poulter (yes, a Pom, but don’t linger on that) produced his usual Ryder Cup passion-play magic, sinking a phenomenal 5 birdies over the last 5 holes to save Europe from a 5 point deficit going into Sunday’s singles matches. Good on you, you old English sausage! By close of play Saturday evening USA (well deserved) led Europe 10-6.

On Sunday however, Team Europe displayed courage, skill, passion, grit and guts (no scrambled eggs) to pull off the greatest comeback in Ryder Cup history! I’m not going to bore you with the details, but it was BEAUTIFUL!!

Unfortunately, a portion of Team USA’s supporters again didn’t win them any international favour with their usual atrocious and unsporting conduct along the fairways and around the greens. It wasn’t quite Valhalla (may the world be spared THAT to ever happen again) but it did leave an unsavoury taste (could be the scrambled eggs again) while making the European victory all that much sweeter! Gleneagles in two year’s time… can’t wait!

Due to the above, of course I had to add some golfing content – my sincerest apologies if you’re not all too familiar with the terms and lingo of the greatest game ever played.

I am happy to announce that babydoll is back, having exchanged the home of the Hobbits for the cheery skies of the UK! I eagerly awaited her take on life as a Pom… and she hasn’t disappointed. Thanks for that! Medicine Man, you’re in here too, so is Little Larry.

I am having a bit of a moral dilemma about my choice for Pick of the Week – a cartoon. Although not really below the belt, it is a cartoon that could raise some uncomfortable questions from your kids. I dunno. It’s meant as mirth and a chuckle – see it in that light, or don’t read it.


Golf in Africa…
An English businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. His hotel directed him to a golf course in the nearby bushveld. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could play on.
"Sure," said the pro, "What's your handicap?"
Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit.
"Well, it's 16," said the businessman, "but what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone?"
"It's very important for us to know," said the pro, who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the pro. "His handicap is 16."
Without blinking, the caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle. The businessman was surprised, but decided not to ask any questions.
They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4.
"It's wise to avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy.
Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found it eventually and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle… a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand.
"That's the Black Mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa. You're lucky I was here with you."
After taking a bogey, they moved to the 2nd hole, a par 5.
"Good to avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy.
Of course, the businessman's ball went straight into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once again, and a huge lion fell dead at his feet.
"Eish, nice save that, eh?" said the caddy.
The 3rd hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.
"Why didn't you kill it?" cried the man incredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy. "This is the stroke 17. You don't get a shot here."

Golf everywhere else…

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest.
After a few minutes, Larry asked, “Dad, why are you doing that?”
His father replied, “Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy.”
Larry, looking worried, said, “Dad, I think the Milkman wants to buy Mom ......”

(Golf) Shorts:
Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.   ~John Updike
If profanity had any influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is.   ~Horace G. Hutchinson
If you drink, don't drive…. don't even putt.   ~Dean Martin
Man blames fate for all other accidents, but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole-in-one.   ~Bishop Sheen
I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.   ~ Arnold Palmer
The only time my prayers are never answered is playing golf.   ~Billy Graham
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.    ~Jack Lemmon
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they’re still rolling.   ~Mark Twain
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.   ~Hackers everywhere
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.   ~George Deukmejian
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.   ~Lee Trevino

Newspaper article:
The South African sport supporter is a tough nut. Our love for sport and achievement runs deep, so it does hurt when we don’t accomplish what we know we can. The below picture and caption was placed in a local newspaper by some bright spark who felt deeply disappointed by the Protea’s (SA’s National Cricket Team) premature exit from the ICC’s T20 Cricket Championship. Free press and an’all, you know…….?

He was the only athlete in the 100 metres, but was placed second.
A future Protea by any chance?


Pick of the Week:
If ever you've lived in a flat - anywhere - you will understand that privacy is treasured and comes at a premium. In this light, this week's pic scored (a possible pun right there) highly in my book and therefore renders babydoll victor among all!!

To the sensitive reader: this is your final chance to avert your eyes....

if you're reading this you're probably gonna scroll on and look at the cartoon....

have a good weekend!

last chance......

I almost had a conscience attack and deleted it, but...

don't ever say I didn't offer you various opportunities to not be offended... or look away...

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